Top 10 Ways To Get Her Back
Okay, maybe it's because my girlfriend and I recently split up, or maybe it's because everyone is e-mailing me about getting back with the ex . Here are some suggestions -- assuming, of course, that you want the girl back. In the upcoming weeks, we will examine what to do to get away from your ex (hey, people want to know about that too).
7. Don't ever forget birthdays or anniversariesYou are neither Brad Pitt nor Jimmy Dean, so don't play Joe Cool and hurt her forever by forgetting to call on her birthday. Every girl wants to be the center of the universe and treated like a princess, especially on their birthday. If you can, send her a card. If you can't, send her an e-card.
5. Analyse and study her
10. Reach out and touch her
Yes, it sounds simple, but it is a cardinal sin to play too hard to get when the girl showed you the door, or vice versa, in the first place. Just because she would page you ten times a day when you were together, does not mean that she will call you once a week now that you're apart. She is probably somewhat shy and has men courting her anyway. I know, reality bites .9. E-mail her
When I broke up with a girl circa 1996, I didn't even have a regular e-mail address, let alone have my ex's e-mail. Had I, we could have kept in touch and would have never drifted so far apart. I am not telling you to send her love poems in red font, but you can forward her an interesting article, a picture, even a simple note saying "hey, what's up?" (try avoiding the Bud version of wassup though).8. Don't "frequent" other girls
I know it's tempting. She might understand if you date a girl, maybe even if you kiss her after the date. But if you want the girl back, don't go any further.7. Don't ever forget birthdays or anniversariesYou are neither Brad Pitt nor Jimmy Dean, so don't play Joe Cool and hurt her forever by forgetting to call on her birthday. Every girl wants to be the center of the universe and treated like a princess, especially on their birthday. If you can, send her a card. If you can't, send her an e-card.
6. Call her every now and then
Again, uncertainty is to be avoided in life, finance and love. She'd rather know what you are up to than imagine you are with another woman. Comfort her by showing you care, that she's still in your thoughts, and always will be. The number 1 way to get her back is...5. Analyse and study her
I hate to say it, but you need to be careful and attentive when she speaks. You are no longer sleeping with her, and there is an increasing façade that is being built between the two of you. So read deep into what she says to you, and what she doesn't.
4. Don't be jealous; be on the look-outThe best way to see how she feels about you after a breakup and what your chances of getting back are, is to see how she acts with other guys. Does she stand up for you when they put you down? Or does she take out the butcher knife and dig it into your back? Does she see her male friends to talk about the breakup, or is she making out with them in the car? You won't be told directly, but hints are there for the taking.
4. Don't be jealous; be on the look-outThe best way to see how she feels about you after a breakup and what your chances of getting back are, is to see how she acts with other guys. Does she stand up for you when they put you down? Or does she take out the butcher knife and dig it into your back? Does she see her male friends to talk about the breakup, or is she making out with them in the car? You won't be told directly, but hints are there for the taking.
3. Don't play games
I know it's hard. I myself always tell people to be somewhat reserved. But that is one thing and playing games is a totally different ballgame. Signals are very important. As a result, you are better off emitting the correct signals to make the transition. Don't play with her, you don't want to mess her up for life.2. Hold your cards to your chest
I know what advice I just gave; but nonetheless, keep your cards close. Why? Relationships are hard enough when you are together. But the real factor is power. Power is key in business just as it is in love. Give her too much power by saying those three words and you'll be whipped faster than you can say boo.1. Stay in shape and improve yourself
Despite who actually did the breaking up, there were reasons. Make sure that you always hold your head up high when time goes by and improve on the things that she complained about. Why? You want her to regret her decision, right? What better way than to live life to the fullest and show her that you did everything that she said you would never do? That applies to love, life and business.
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (A Complete Guide)
I'm sorry to see you've ended up searching for "how to get your ex girlfriend back." Because it probably means you are going through a pretty miserable time right now. I'm truly sorry, and I know exactly how you feel (trust me).
Keep with me though because over the next few minutes I'll outline a plan to help you win her back.
If you're anything like a lot of guys who contact me, you're probably didn't even realize you could feel pain on this scale. It can really take you by surprise and knock you off-guard.
Feeling the way you do right now is NOT unmanly.
Feeling the way you do right now is NOT unmanly.
- You might want to cry.
- You might feel like hitting things.
- You feel completely torn up inside.
These emotions are all completely natural, trust me, and the manliest thing you can do right now is to accept the pain but take action on it. So don't beat yourself up about feeling these things.
BUT... now isn't the time to feel sorry for yourself.
PLAN PLAN PLAN To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Before we even talk about how to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to make the commitment in your head that this is absolutely what you want. No half-measures.
And you must decide on a solid plan right now. No half-arsed attempt with a text or a lame phone call. You need a plan and you gotta stick to it.
A plan is SO SO important because it stops you from making instintive rookie mistakes that ruin your chances of making up with her.
- Mistakes like calling her up every day despite the fact she doesn't really want to talk to you.
- Mistakes like begging for her forgiveness and promising you will change for her.
When you make them (and yes they are tempting), you make it increasingly likely that she's going to start pitying you. And a girl NEVER gets back with a guy out of pity.
Let me repeat that - "a girl never falls for a guy out of pity".
It astonishes me how many guys try to do it this way though. Please don't be one of them.
Instead, you want to re-establish your allure by being strong, dominant and knowing what you want. All girls secretly crave these characteristics in their guy.Now's not the time to act like a wuss.
(you need to do this even if the breakup was your fault).
So how do you act strong and confident when all you feel inside is hurt and pain?
Rule #1: She's Not That Over You
Even if you think your situation is hopeless right now, there are tonnes of couples that have been in the same situation and have ended up getting back together. It happens a lot more often than you think.
In fact there are couples who you'd have said would never in a million years thought have gotten back together after horrible breakups. Even people who really be together still get a second (or third, or fourth) chance.
Why? Well it's just a matter ofbiology and psychology.
- BIOLOGY: It's the chemistry between the two of you. If it "felt right" it probably was right, as far as mother nature is concerned.The two of you share a strong connection, that's why it feels so horrible being apart from her right now. Your body is hardwired to miss her. And hers is hardwired to miss YOU!
- PSYCHOLOGY: This one is more complicated, and this is where you can put your magic to work.. Psychology is actually pretty simple if you know what you are doing. The only problem is, people act in the wrong way to get their results, and mess up their chances in the process. However, if you KNOW what you are doing, you can play your ex's feelings like an instrument.
You still have that biological connection to her. RIGHT NOW she is feeling lonely, vulnerable and likely confused (no, that doesn't mean you should call her!). It is hardwired into her brain, she has no choice but to feel this.
The problem you are facing right now is psychological, which means you can overcome it with the right strategy.
How To Use Reverse Psychology To Win Her Back
I am convinced that in most cases, if you want it hard enough, you can get your ex boyfriend back! You just have to be strong and smart about it!
The key principle in how to get your ex girlfriend back is in reverse psychology.
Here are three quick examples:
#1 Don't Contact Her
For a period of at least 3-4 weeks.
For a period of at least 3-4 weeks.
You need to be very strict about this, even when it is so tempting to pick up the phone. If she has broken up with you she will regard your phone calls and texts as 'stalking' or 'harrassing'.
Instead, promise yourself that you won't contact her.
You might think: "Essy, isn't she going to forget about me and move on if I don't contact her".
She's going to think: "Why hasn't he got in touch with me lately? Does that mean he's over me? Has he found someone else? Have I made a big mistake?!"
Can you see the reverse psychology at work here?
#2 Accept the break up
Accept the break up and tell her that you're ok with it. That you both need space right now, and that it's probably for the best.
Accept the break up and tell her that you're ok with it. That you both need space right now, and that it's probably for the best.
You might think: "If I let go of her now she's never going to come back."
She's going to think: "Wow, I didn't expect that. He's being mature about this. Why wasn't he like this before we broke up?" And then she'll begin to question herself... "Do I not mean that much to him? Why does he think it's for the best? Have I made a mistake?"
Can you see the shift in her mindset that's happening here? It's an incredibly powerful technique. You let her come to her own conclusions.
#3 Don't go running back to her if she calls
Going back to rule #1, if you don't get back in contact with her, she's more likely to get back in contact with you.
Going back to rule #1, if you don't get back in contact with her, she's more likely to get back in contact with you.
At this point, I highly recommend holding your ground. If she calls, tell her "You've caught me at a really busy time, it's great to hear from you but I can't talk for more than a couple of minutes."
If she says she wants to see you, tell her "I need some space from you right now. Maybe if you get in touch in a couple of weeks we can talk."
So yes you have to wait an extra couple of weeks, but do you see how powerful this technique is? She's got two weeks to think about that conversation you're going to have together. And you were strong. You didn't go running back to her.
At this point she is the one who is more likely to ask YOU back, whatever the reason for the breakup was.
A Quick Case Study
I'd like to take you through an email the other day that I got from a guy called Josh.
Here's what Josh wrote:
"I used the 'no contact' strategy and guess what, a little after two weeks my ex called me. I hope I handled it well but I don't know.We had a nice light conversation for about 45 minutes. She basically asked me how things were going, and said just called to see how I was. How do I interpret this? I'm now going to wait another week to call her and see if she wants to meet.Is this the right strategy? Thanks, Josh."
This is a common situation and a common mistake. What happens is you start making some headway - your ex starts to call you etc - because you'll pulling now instead of pushing.
And you get too excited. I have a name for it: "premature reconciliation". Josh stayed on the phone with his ex wayyy too long. He should have cut the conversation short.
The same goes for texts. Once she starts texting it's really easy to fall into the trap of texting her all the time.
DON'T TEXT.
Particularly in that phase when you are trying to attract her back. Agree with the breakup, tell her you want to take some time, and make her wait.
Summary - I hope that gives you some insight into the early stages of how to get your ex girlfriend back. I've written a Part II which goes into more detail about some methods of attracting your ex girlfriend back into your life.
